Exposed: How advertisers use fear to get us to buy their products

February 7th, 2010

I was recently sent an article that was distributed to advertising copywriters. The article starts out by giving advice on how advertisers can use benefits in their advertising copy. And then it moves on to explicit instructions of how to use fear to get people to buy products. Her is the advice advertisers are given:

“Every benefit is just one side of a coin; the other side is a fear.
Because while prospects desire all these things, they also fear NOT having them in their lives. They fear poverty and dependence … illness and pain … being abandoned and left alone, and being thought little of.
And so sales copy that promises to deliver a much-desired benefit and alleviate a nagging fear can be twice as effective as copy that focuses on benefits alone.”

The article, by an advertising consultancy company then go on to give explicit instructions on how to use fear to get us to buy their products. Here are some lowlights of advice given to professional advertising copy writiers:

“If you’re going to invoke fear in your sales copy, make sure it’s a fear that’s already waking your prospects at 2:30 AM in a cold sweat.” - This advice is given so advertisers don’t waste their time and copy on trying to instill new fears. It’s easier and cheaper to use fears we already have apparently.

“If you’re going to use fear in your copy, make sure it’s an imminent fear. Something that is likely to happen in the very near future – or better yet, at virtually any moment.” it then goes on to state that people don’t act on distant fears, ‘you have to make them imminent and gives many advertising examples including “In other words, someone near you was a victim of a violent crime in his or her home yesterday. If it was your next-door neighbor, you’re many times more likely to be buy a burglar alarm today than if the victim was a mile or ten miles away.”

“Using a fear that paralyzes prospects won’t do you any good and it sure won’t help your prospects.”. The moral for advertisers here is that “I do not want him frozen into inaction by the fear”.

“Pushing your prospects’ panic buttons is pointless unless you can show how your product eliminates the cause of his fear.” - The advice here is that advertisers don’t waste time and money “invoking a fear that isn’t actionable”. In other words the fear you use must drive ‘prospects’ to a sale, “it must be actionable.”

Lastly the guide ends on a cheery little piece of advice to advertisers:

“A little fear goes a long way. It’s a powerful attention-getter. Used correctly, it can add dimension to your product’s benefits and motivate prospects to order now.”

We all know advertisers often use fear to sell. I just wasn’t aware how cynical, clinical and purposeful the practice was.

Advice: If you are about to buy anything just question your motivations for doing so and make sure you aren’t being manipulated. The more emotionally resilient you are the less likely advertisers fear inducing tactics are likely to work.

Wedding Nerves: Why memorising your wedding day speech is a no-no

November 17th, 2009

As mentioned in my previous blog, it transpires that 66% of grooms felt that trying to memorise their speech made their fears worse. But why?
When I interviewed the grooms concerned about their wedding day nerves I discovered that the pressure of trying to remember everything, especially on a day as big as your wedding enhances fear and paricularly anxiety. In effect fear of forgetting or going blank during the speech adds to all the other things that grooms get anxious about on their wedding day, enhansing their fear and the pressure of the day.

So what should you do if you don’t memorise your speech? In my next blog I will give you some tips on how to do a cracking speech without memorising the whole thing.

Wedding Nerves: Why memorising your wedding day speech is a no-no

November 17th, 2009

As mentioned in my previous blog, it transpires that 66% of grooms felt that trying to memorise their speech made their fears worse. But why?
When I interviewed the grooms concerned about their wedding day nerves I discovered that the pressure of trying to remember everything, especially on a day as big as your wedding enhances fear and paricularly anxiety. In effect fear of forgetting or going blank during the speech adds to all the other things that grooms get anxious about on their wedding day, enhansing their fear and the pressure of the day.

So what should you do if you don’t memorise your speech? In my next blog I will give you some tips on how to do a cracking speech without memorising the whole thing.

Wedding nerves; should you memorize your speech?

November 7th, 2009
Should you memorize your speech?

Should you memorize your speech?

I have been doing a scan of advice given about wedding speeches on the internet for a booklet I am writing for the groom, best man and father of the bride who have to give speeches at weddings. One topic keeps raising it’s head. Should you memorize your speech?

Now as a father of four daughters, having been married twice myself and someone who does a fair bit of public speaking this is a topic close to my heart.

Just about every blog and article on the internet advise that you memorize your speech. So I did some research asking speech givers if memorizing their speech helped with their nerves. I asked via The Fear Course Community on the online course, through 5 other discussion boards and in a series of face-to-face interviews. In all I had 512 responses from people who had actually made a speech at a wedding and who had memorized their speech.

So does memorizing a speech help to allay public speaking nerves?

Results:

Yes it really helped: 132 (25.78%)

No it made them worse: 339 (66.2%)

I’m not sure it made any difference: 41 (8%)

So the vast majority thought memorizing the speech made their nerves worse. But why?

Emotional Resilience and asking stupid questions

November 6th, 2009
Ask a silly question.

Ask a silly question.

How many times have you not asked a question for fear of looking daft?

I do a lot of work in organisations as a consultant and coach. One of the things being an outsider gives you is the ability to ask ’stupid’ questions without people looking to the sky and tutting. Actually even when I was in an organisation I was always pretty good at asking stupid questions.

Anyway what I have frequently found is that it is the stupid question that unblocks things.

A recent example comes from a group I was working with who kept using the phrase “Learning Culture”. I listened for a while and then wondered what they meant. So I asked “What do you mean by learning culture?” Simple question really.

One of the group looked at me and shook his head in horror. However there was total silence. Not one of the group could answer the question even though they were engaged in trying to develop ‘a learning culture’.

As it happened this question unblocked the whole discussion and moved the group on a long way.

I just wonder how often people get into conversations at work, hear phrases or ideas, wonder what they are and don’t ask for fear of looking stupid? I wonder how many projects go T.U. because people are scared to ask or to point out flaws in things at work? I wonder how many bosses don’t get the truth about what is really happening and all because of a lack of emotional resilience?

A bit of emotional resilience would help organisations in lots of ways…

Emotional resilience, emotional maturity, emotion regulation and impulse control

November 3rd, 2009

I have been doing a lot of research around the subject of emotional resilience, particularly from a medical / neurological perspective.
There are a couple of terms that are emerging from the literature which are very useful and really need to enter the public lexicon; emotion regulation and impulse control.

Emotional resilience is largely becoming seen as the ability to bounce back after some negative emotional event.

Emotion regulation is somewhat of a bigger concept than emotional resilience and includes the idea of ’state control’ or the ability to consciously change emotional state at will and is used extensively in the medical literature.

Both ‘emotional resilience’ and ‘emotion regulation’ are frequently used interchangeably in the literature.

Impulse control is an interesting concept that is often linked to emotional regulation. Reading the literature researchers are clearly seeing impulse control as separate (but linked) from emotion regulation. When you think about it impulses are more of a ‘knee jerk’ habit than a pure emotion. Impulses are drives towards a certain behaviour, they have an emotional basis and are either a direct response to an emotion or are behavioural or cognitive habit that has become associated to an emotion.

Emotional maturity is a catchall judgment / description or measurement of the level of emotional acuity a person has in comparison to others. Maturity is a comparative concept. It tends to be used to incorporate all of the above terms and more.

Just doing a quick literature search I found the following:

In the management / leadership literature the term emotional resilience is the most frequently used term. There is very little reference to impulse control.

In the medical literature ‘emotional resilience’ is a growing phrase used and has recently overtaken ‘emotion regulation’ and ‘impulse control’ in terms of popularity. Neurological papers tend to talk more about emotion regulation than other types of medical research articles. In total there are more articles about emotion regulation its just that the idea of emotional resilience has recently overtaken emotion regulation in terms of use.

Emotional resilience is most often used in psychological research journals with emotion regulation and impulse control following close behind.

Psychiatry journals tend to refer to emotion regulation above all other terms.

Reading the articles I do get the sense that the terms emotional resilience and emotion regulation are being used interchangeably even though they do have different meanings. In the public especially the realm of the internet when you put the terms in parenthesis the following falls out:

“Emotional Resilience” 72,000 hits

“Emotion Regulation” returns 165,000 hits

“Impulse control” brings back a whopping 603,000 hits

“Emotional maturity” has 253,000 results.

But what about terms searched for? These figures are terms searched for globally per month.

Emotional resilience has approx 1,900 searches per month

Emotion regulation has 6,600 searches per month

Emotional maturity also has about 6,600 searches per month

Impulse control has approximately 22,200 searches per month.

Interesting…

Wedding Nerves: Isn’t this just the worst?

October 30th, 2009

You have spent ages planning your wedding. Everything is set for the big day and the honeymoon. The Hotel is booked. The dress is being specially made for the bride by an amazing dressmaker. You are looking forward to your honeymoon, flying off to an exotic but secret location for a couple of weeks together on your own.

And then with days to go you visit the dressmaker for the final fitting. The door to the dressmakers shop is locked. Worse the shop looks empty.  ‘That’s odd’ you think to yourself and then your friend notices a small handwritten notice taped to the inside of the shop window. The xxxxx Bridal Wedding Dress Company is in administration. All inquiries to and the name and address of a solicitors is given. You stand there looking at the notice. The wedding is in Three days time. What do you do?

Then when you get home the telephone rings. It is your fiance. “Darling I have some bad news and I don’t know what to do” you blurt out. He sounds oddly muted as he says me “Me too”.

“What’s wrong?” you both say together

Picking up on his uncharacteristically ‘down’ tone you offer “You first darling. what’s happened?”

“I rang the xxxxxxx hotel today to give them the final numbers for the food for the reception and” he pauses.

You fill the space desperate to find out what has happened that is making him sound so sad, “Yes and?”

“Well the manager answered and told me they had gone bust and had to call the receivers in. The reception is off.”

You sit there stunned. Your groom-to-be on the other end of the phone says slowly “And your news?”

Later that night you are both sitting on the sofa trying to work out how to rescue the wedding with the television on in the background. You are trying to weigh up whether it is just best to cancel, it’s just telling all those people. Oh and what about those people who are right now flying to be with you on your wedding day? As you discuss the possibilities you become aware of the news on the TV. An airline has gone bust stranding 1000’s of travelers.

“At least we are not stranded far from home” you say turning to your husband-to-be.

He has gone white. “You look like you have seen a ghost, what on earth is wrong?”

“I feel sick” he replies staring at the TV

“Why?” you turn to see images of airplanes and people queuing at airports and an angry man talking to a reporter, gesticulating wildly.

“That is the airline we are booked on to go on honeymoon with in four days time.”

“Stop messing around”

“I’m not messing around that really is the airline we were booked on to go on our honeymoon with.”

You just look at each other. No words come. The feeling in your stomach lurches.

Too far fetched? It actually happened to Karen and Kenneth Porter from Durham in the UK this month. In fact it was even worse because Karen ended up having an operation on her foot 3 weeks before the wedding and her wedding shoes didn’t fit! However all worked out well in the end, it was just the stress they endured on the run up to their wedding. Did they get wedding nerves? Guess.

What would you do? This really is a moment for emotional resilience.

We have a series of really brilliant tips for dealing with the causes of wedding nerves.  You can get these absolutely free here.

(The guides the tips refer to are not quite ready yet but we will let you know the moment they are.)

Dx

Overcoming Fear: What is and what isn’t a phobia. Eating peanut butter and the odd case of the spotless garage.

August 31st, 2009

“I have a phobia about peanut butter. I hate the way it sticks to the roof of my mouth” Jenny stated. “Ugh” she added, shuddering and shaking her head at the thought.

“A phobia?” Claire asked

“Oh yes an absolute phobia. I really hate it. Even just the thought of eating peanut butter and getting it stuck … ugh!” Jenny replied as she shook her head again making a disgusted face as she did so.

“Wow you hate it that much?” Claire enquired smiling warmly at her friend.

“Yes that much” as she pulled a face again.

“Do you find that you think about it much, Jenny?” Claire asked

“No not really. Unless of course someone offered me a peanut butter sandwich, then I might.”

“Oh ok and if you saw a peanut butter sandwich” Claire paused “what would you do?”

Jenny looked puzzled “Not much as long as no one forced it on me”.

“Ok and how does this affect your life?”

“Claire you are teasing me. It doesn’t really affect my life at all. I just don’t want to eat peanut butter as I don’t like the sensation.”

“Then my dear, you do not have a phobia. You might not like it, but not liking peanut butter is not the same as having a phobia you know.” Claire stated.

“Oh, er so what is a phobia if that isn’t one then?” Jenny asked.

“Well you know Karen from number 43?”

“Yes what about her?” Jenny replied, eagerly. Delighted that she might be about to get some juicy gossip about the odd woman across the road.

“Well have you seen her in her garage?”

“No why”

“You watch next time she goes into her garage. Just see what happens.”

“Claire!” Jenny exclaimed “I can’t wait that long. Tell me. Now or I’ll explode!”

“Ok firstly their garage isn’t like yours or mine – it’s spotless and there is absolutely no junk and cleaner than out kitchens!”

“Oooo. Yes and?”

“She has a small piece of rope that she pulls the car out with. She never ever drives it out. You will never see her actually in the garage.”

“How does she keep it spotless then?” Jenny asked

“Her son has to keep it clean”

“But why? That’s really odd”

Claire look directly at her friend “Spiders. She is a total arachnophobic.”

“Arachnophobic?”

“Yes a phobia of spiders. The main thing about a phobia that make them different from just a fear or a dislike is how intense the reaction is to the feared object or situation. A phobia means that the individual has an irrational, intense obsessive and excessive desire to avoid the object. In Karen’s case, spiders; she won’t even go in her own garage and makes her son keep it spotless just in case there is a spider there.”

“Oh I had no idea” Jenny replied, clearly shocked.

“Yes a phobia rules your entire life and controls what you will and wont do; all the time.”

“How awful”

“Exactly. So whilst you might not like peanut butter I don’t think it’s a phobia for you.”

Jenny looked at Claire. “When you put it like that…”

Wedding Nerves: Something I hadn’t considered…

August 30th, 2009

I am in the process of writing a series of articles about wedding nerves and anxiety. You can find them at http://www.fearcourse.com/articles-and-notes.html. We have just completed six months of research looking at wedding nerves from the perspectives of:

  • The bride
  • The groom
  • The best-man
  • The father of the bride, and
  • The mothers’.

The obvious omission are the bridesmaids. I realised this and we are about to rectify this omission to the research.

However the less obvious omission and one that I certainly hadn’t considered are the personal close friends of the bride (frequently) and those of the groom (less frequently).

I was talking to a group of people yesterday and we got onto the subject of wedding nerves. One of the group told us about a wedding she went to of one of her close friends and how she found the lead up to the wedding so terrifying that she decided not to attend. She subsequently reversed this decision on the eve of the wedding and went but suffered from a series of panic attacks the night before and was at times rigid with fear during the day. Today I did a bit of searching and found quite a few reports of wedding nerves and anxieties with the friends of the bride and less frequently, but still quite prevelent with the friends of the groom.

I have to say I was surprised at this finding, but I have subsequently turned up quite a lot of data on this particular phenomenon.

So why do friends suffer from wedding nerves? In my next blog all will be revealed.

Emotional resilience research: resilient individuals show a bias towards positive emotions.

August 25th, 2009
Some research published in April’s Journal of Affective Disorders (2009 Apr;114(1-3):286-93) by Arce et al from the Department of Psychiatry, University of California supports the hypothesis that that resilient individuals show a bias towards positive emotions when faced with uncertain or ambiguous emotional expressions.
I will write a fuller review and critique of this paper in our articles and notes section shortly. Dx

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