On the Fear Course we often get people who find it difficult to identify and articulate the range of emotions they feel. As a result when it comes to being able to deal with their emotions and being emotionally resilient they find it a tough job. They know something is causing problems and they know it’s a fear or anxiety, but they struggle to describe what the feeling is. We do a little exercise at the start of the day where we get people to start to articulate what they are feeling and when they feel it. We ask them to decide on the level of fear or anxiety they have in certain situations. A proportion of people struggle with this task.
Often in family, schooling and work systems emotions are not discussed, identified and recognised. In fact often people are told “not to be emotional”. Frequently we find that displays of emotion are considered to the the cause of ‘discomfort’ (another emotion) and therefore need to be removed from the situation as they are ‘unhelpful’.
The reason people have such problems with emotions is that they have not been shown how to be comfortable with them. I frequently find in my research that the most emotionally resilient people are those who recognise and accept their and other people’s emotions (emotional intelligence). As a result they find it fairly easy to then regulate their emotions (emotional resilience), even in really difficult situations.
The process of getting people, particularly children comfortable with something as natural and human as emotions has become known as emotional literacy. Usually the process of developing emotional literacy has a number of elements:
- Learning to recognise an emotion as it happens,
- Being able to label and identify our emotions and the difference between them,
- Being able to express or articulate our emotions in a healthy way,
- Recognising emotions as they occur in others (empathy)
- The ability to regulate our emotions (emotional resilience) rather than our emotions driving our behaviour and thinking.
However many people have not developed these abilities and are in actual fact uncomfortable or even scared of their own emotions find it difficult to cope when others are displaying their emotions.
Some schools and parents recognise the importance of emotional resilience and have started to develop emotional literacy programmes. In the mean time what about the adults who haven’t had the benefit of developing emotional resilience? The foundation of the Fear Course is exactly that. To help people get comfortable with their emotions and learn to regulate them quickly and easily. More about emotional literacy soon…
