By PLAVEB

Posts Tagged ‘wedding nerves’

Wedding Nerves: Mind boggling claims

Thursday, June 17th, 2010

I have just been doing a trawl of the internet looking at the things people claim can calm wedding nerves. Here is a quick list of the more unlikely / interesting. As the saying goes do not try some of these at home, you have been warned:

  • A bouquet of flowers (from a florist)
  • New shoes (from a shoe shop)
  • Walking backwards (from a strange person with a blog who claimed this worked for her)
  • Walking forwards (from a walker - actually there is something in this if the walk is in the country)
  • Licking a stone (Odd cult as far as I could make out)
  • Waggling your tongue (no other instructions I am afraid)
  • Sex (Good distraction but I doubt you could keep it going through the ceremony even if you could keep it going for the 18 months before - good way to lose weight though)
  • Perfume (from a perfume shop)
  • Not thinking (I assume they meant not thinking about the wedding but the advice was to calm wedding nerves stop thinking.)
  • Solving equations (A mathematician)
  • Sky diving (Would certainly put the wedding nerves into perspective)
  • Shooting deer (American hunter - might cause problems at the ceremony)
  • Listening to your hair grow (er…)
  • Concentrating on getting divorced (I assume to the previous person)
  • Powdered dogs claws (I’m not too sure of the chemical composition of dogs claws …)
  • Shopping (Replace the wedding nerves with poverty anxiety)
  • Clenching a pen between your buttocks (An remedy from a Ugandan blog)
  • Stabbing yourself with pins / knifes / forks (Not acupuncture this was to do with concentrating on the pain rather than the wedding nerves)
  • Getting a secret lover (not sure this is in the spirit of getting married I have to say)
  • Planning an attack on the Taliban (US soldier, not something everyone can join in with I feel)
  • Fighting the Taliban (ditto)
  • Getting in trouble with the law (might miss the wedding with that one)
  • Drugs of several types, both legal and illegal (Don’t do it)
  • Drink (Ditto)
  • Hiding
  • Picking fights with your sister
  • Shoplifting (Eh?)
  • Chocolate (Nice but fattening and unlikely to work)
  • Staying away from the aliens (must the nerve ray guns that are doing it)
  • Putting string in your shoes
  • Garlic (I thought that was for vampires)
  • Carrots (Eating them I assume)
  • Wiping a slice of potato over your forehead

Internet land is a wonderful and diverse place…

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Wedding Nerves: The link with weight gain and loss

Sunday, May 16th, 2010

Wedding nerves and weight - the link

I have just been listening to a bride-to-be talking about her struggle, both with wedding nerves and weight gain. She was saying that she has been suffering quite badly from pre-wedding nerves and fears. When I asked her what her symptoms were she said that was having panic attacks, feelings of nervousness which include jumbly feelings in her stomach, increased heart rate, an increase in blushing, feeling unwell and sleeplessness.

Whilst we were talking she also said that she was also battling to loose weight but was finding she was gaining weight, not losing it.

People suffering from wedding nerves often find either that they lose a lot of weight quite easily or like this bride-to-be, gain weight or at least struggle to lose weight. So why do some people lose weight with wedding nerves and others gain weight?

Fear is usually an appetite suppressant. What this means is that when we get scared the body loses interest in eating so we tend not to eat as much. Additionally the bodies reaction to fear is to ready the body for action as part of the flight or fight response, this normally increases the metabolic rate, or the rate at which the body burns off our food. Both of these things usually results in weight loss.

So why do some people gain weight or at least find it extremely difficult to lose weight when suffering from wedding nerves? For two main reasons. The first is because of a habit they developed to deal with fear; comfort eating. Many people have developed comfort eating as a habit during times of stress, particularly a habit of eating things with high number of calories and processed sugars in them like chocolate, cakes, breads etc. The second main reason is the sleeplessness brought on by the wedding nerves. This tends to slow down our metabolic rate, which means that we do not burn off the food we consume as fast as we normally would.

Getting your wedding nerves under control is a really important factor in stabilising and controlling your weight as is breaking the habit or association between fear and comfort eating. Our wedding guides show you how to deal with your wedding nerves, start sleeping and stop comfort eating.

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Wedding Nerves: Isn’t this just the worst?

Friday, October 30th, 2009

You have spent ages planning your wedding. Everything is set for the big day and the honeymoon. The Hotel is booked. The dress is being specially made for the bride by an amazing dressmaker. You are looking forward to your honeymoon, flying off to an exotic but secret location for a couple of weeks together on your own.

And then with days to go you visit the dressmaker for the final fitting. The door to the dressmakers shop is locked. Worse the shop looks empty.  ‘That’s odd’ you think to yourself and then your friend notices a small handwritten notice taped to the inside of the shop window. The xxxxx Bridal Wedding Dress Company is in administration. All inquiries to and the name and address of a solicitors is given. You stand there looking at the notice. The wedding is in Three days time. What do you do?

Then when you get home the telephone rings. It is your fiance. “Darling I have some bad news and I don’t know what to do” you blurt out. He sounds oddly muted as he says me “Me too”.

“What’s wrong?” you both say together

Picking up on his uncharacteristically ‘down’ tone you offer “You first darling. what’s happened?”

“I rang the xxxxxxx hotel today to give them the final numbers for the food for the reception and” he pauses.

You fill the space desperate to find out what has happened that is making him sound so sad, “Yes and?”

“Well the manager answered and told me they had gone bust and had to call the receivers in. The reception is off.”

You sit there stunned. Your groom-to-be on the other end of the phone says slowly “And your news?”

Later that night you are both sitting on the sofa trying to work out how to rescue the wedding with the television on in the background. You are trying to weigh up whether it is just best to cancel, it’s just telling all those people. Oh and what about those people who are right now flying to be with you on your wedding day? As you discuss the possibilities you become aware of the news on the TV. An airline has gone bust stranding 1000’s of travelers.

“At least we are not stranded far from home” you say turning to your husband-to-be.

He has gone white. “You look like you have seen a ghost, what on earth is wrong?”

“I feel sick” he replies staring at the TV

“Why?” you turn to see images of airplanes and people queuing at airports and an angry man talking to a reporter, gesticulating wildly.

“That is the airline we are booked on to go on honeymoon with in four days time.”

“Stop messing around”

“I’m not messing around that really is the airline we were booked on to go on our honeymoon with.”

You just look at each other. No words come. The feeling in your stomach lurches.

Too far fetched? It actually happened to Karen and Kenneth Porter from Durham in the UK this month. In fact it was even worse because Karen ended up having an operation on her foot 3 weeks before the wedding and her wedding shoes didn’t fit! However all worked out well in the end, it was just the stress they endured on the run up to their wedding. Did they get wedding nerves? Guess.

What would you do? This really is a moment for emotional resilience.

We have a series of really brilliant tips for dealing with the causes of wedding nerves.  You can get these absolutely free here.

(The guides the tips refer to are not quite ready yet but we will let you know the moment they are.)

Dx

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Wedding Nerves: Something I hadn’t considered…

Sunday, August 30th, 2009

I am in the process of writing a series of articles about wedding nerves and anxiety. You can find them at http://www.fearcourse.com/articles-and-notes.html. We have just completed six months of research looking at wedding nerves from the perspectives of:

  • The bride
  • The groom
  • The best-man
  • The father of the bride, and
  • The mothers’.

The obvious omission are the bridesmaids. I realised this and we are about to rectify this omission to the research.

However the less obvious omission and one that I certainly hadn’t considered are the personal close friends of the bride (frequently) and those of the groom (less frequently).

I was talking to a group of people yesterday and we got onto the subject of wedding nerves. One of the group told us about a wedding she went to of one of her close friends and how she found the lead up to the wedding so terrifying that she decided not to attend. She subsequently reversed this decision on the eve of the wedding and went but suffered from a series of panic attacks the night before and was at times rigid with fear during the day. Today I did a bit of searching and found quite a few reports of wedding nerves and anxieties with the friends of the bride and less frequently, but still quite prevelent with the friends of the groom.

I have to say I was surprised at this finding, but I have subsequently turned up quite a lot of data on this particular phenomenon.

So why do friends suffer from wedding nerves? In my next blog all will be revealed.

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